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clevohardcore
* Kick\'n ass on the wild side *
Posts: 12937
Registered: 9-19-2004
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Post horror stories of being in public and having to use the restroom.
THIS THREAD HAS GOT TO GET ME AT LEAST A FREE THROP SHIRT.
My worst experience was at a club called the ODEON in Cleveland flats downtown. I went with a few friends. We went to see MINISTRY around 2002 I
believe. Anyway. It was fucking packed and we went out to eat befor ethe show at Max and Erma's. I ate a burger. We got to the club and before the
opening band played and I felt a little uneasy. So I had 2 beers. After a bit I was like in bad shape. I was hangin off the railing with a terrible
sour stomach and I had to SHIT BAD. I went to the bar tender and was like were is the bathroom. I almost lost it before i made it. Once i got theri it
was 1 toilet and 1 stand up. No one in their but it the bathroom was right next to a table with people sitting and standing all around it. Goth people
kickin it and shit. Anyway the worst part of it was NO FUCKING DOOR. So I'm out in the open shitting like mad. I was pissed and laughing at the same
time at how stupid this looks. The people around the bathroom could smell it for sure. I sound of techno music and fart-shitting was funny ass hell.
Also I didn't have time to lay any battle gear on the toilet before i sat down. I was soo relieved after all that and I felt 100% better but let that
be a lesson. No your environment and prepare.
Now let's hear your stories.......Don't be shy. Who gives a.......shit?
hahahahaaha 
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gavin
Posting Freak
Posts: 3973
Registered: 1-15-2005
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i have a TON of these
my stomach is really bad
i mean i have ALOT of stories
i will post them later on when i have more time
you come at the king....you best not miss
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clevohardcore
* Kick\'n ass on the wild side *
Posts: 12937
Registered: 9-19-2004
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Mood: Sick Of It All, Youth Of Today
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I got at least 2 more and i will post them too but I want to see who else has them...
hahahahaa. This is funny
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forsaken
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This is another story from my pre-straightedge days (turning edge made me boring i reckon) :
Ok, so I was about 17 and I went to this club to see some bands play, drank wayyyy too much and caught the train out of the city at about 7am to go
home. On the way home my tummy starts gurgling and my ass was starting to feel a little ... 'stressed out' ... I knew it was an explosive poop so I
thought 'hey i'll get off the train and use the toilet at the next station - too easy' ... so the next station rolls up and i run out the train doors
only to see it's 'east camberwell station' ... a station that has no fuckin toilets, it's just a platform .... this station happens to be right next
to an expensive private girl school and the platform just happened to have 20-30 girls on their way to school. But I had no choice ...
I ran into this little seating area (it's like a shelter from wind and rain) where there was no girls, pulled my pants down and took a dump right
there and then. It was so wrong, but it felt so good. Ahhhhhhh ...... 
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JawnDiablo
Posting Freak
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Registered: 4-21-2005
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ill be back on this one when i can compose
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thedog
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i have a weak stomach too.
so whenever i go to a show or any place with a sketchy bathroom - i always take imodium a.d. for precautionary measures.
and i carry extra with me just in case.
it usually works well.
\"thank you very little\"
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clevohardcore
* Kick\'n ass on the wild side *
Posts: 12937
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FORSAKEN
Dude I am jamming out to MERAUDERS MASTER KILLER and while I'm reading the story I have the song FEAR OF SIN on and it has a heavy repetative guitar
riff on it that continues for a while and it set a great musical backdrop of you searching for the bathroom. That was some funny shit.
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHA. Imagine what the person thought when they found that in the corner.
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forsaken
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Registered: 2-10-2005
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| Quote: | Originally posted by clevohardcore
Imagine what the person thought when they found that in the corner. |
Oh dude, I reckon it'd be the worst thing to see, EVER and it woulda stunk sooo bad. I was amazed it didn't splash on the back of my shoes or pants or
anything. Hahaha.
But alas, thats my one and only pooping horror story, I had a close call after a bad kebab when I was in New York city ... luckily some nice lady let
me cut the queue for the starbucks dunny.
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clevohardcore
* Kick\'n ass on the wild side *
Posts: 12937
Registered: 9-19-2004
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Mood: Sick Of It All, Youth Of Today
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My other story was after my honeymoon in the Dominican Republic I got the worst SHITS ever from their. Well the next day I got back was IRON MAIDEN,
MOTORHEAD and DIO. Now I could not miss this show plus he had a bunch of us going to this show with a limo so it was on no matter what. Well a 2 cars
of us meet up at a MARCS parking lot to meet up with the 2 other cars. I go into Marcs cause I am feeling it so bad in the brewhause. Everyone knows
and they are drinking rum and beers and smokin it up. Well I go into Marcs to get toilet paper and imodium and tums. Everyone is cracking up and shit
so we finally get into the limo and everyhting is fine I get my buzz on and we get to the show. Rock out hard to MOTORHEAD. DIO FUCKING SUCKED but
whatever and thats when it hits. I go shit in this crappy outside restroom. Watch MAIDEN and then the show is over we get into the limo and I tell the
driver on the phone in the back that if I call and say I got to shit "PLEASE STOP AND PULL OVER" He's like are you serious?" and I say "HELL YA" After
20 minutes crampped in the back of this limo it hits FAST dude... sour stomach and pain. I scream at the guy on the phone and he won't pull over I
start begging and everyone is laughing at me sooo damn hard. So I'm like if he doesn't pull over I am shitting in this limo then I blow this quiet
fart. Every in the limo thinks I already shit my pants. So they start pounding on the walls and windows of the limo and screaming into the phone "HE'S
SHITTING HIS PANTS". the guy pulls over and it's in the middle of a highway between Akron and Cleveland. I run up the hill on the side of the highway
and squat down and take a shit. Wide out in the middle were every car and truck can see. I could hear everyone laughing sooo fucking hard in that car,
and all the truckers and cars that pass are honking horns at me. I did not care because I was prepared and had the toilet paper with me. THANK GOD.
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clevohardcore
* Kick\'n ass on the wild side *
Posts: 12937
Registered: 9-19-2004
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Mood: Sick Of It All, Youth Of Today
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Moral to this story NEVER under any circumstance go to a foreign country. The water regulations and food prep regulation s are not the same as the
UNITED STATES. I almost went into the hospital because i kept shitting for nearly a month. I got it from either the water which I did not drink on
purpose but I hear they rpeper food in the water like veggies and mixed drinks with ice.
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SAAAAARS
Posting Freak
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Location: maine
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the worst thing i've ever had happen is having no toilet paper. i haven't read all of these yet because it's a lot to read, but seriously. weird. haha
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forsaken
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Registered: 2-10-2005
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Dude thats an amazing story, you definetly outdid my train station poop. hahaha.
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clevohardcore
* Kick\'n ass on the wild side *
Posts: 12937
Registered: 9-19-2004
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Mood: Sick Of It All, Youth Of Today
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I don't know man your story was fucking funny. I can jsut imagine trying to hide jsut to take a shit and not be able to. Esp that early in the
morning.
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Discipline
* DRUNKEN MONKEY *
Posts: 11900
Registered: 9-8-2004
Location: Over here
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I remember one time back in high school I got food poisoning real bad and got sick while in school. It was coming out both ends so I was puking on
the bathroom floor while I painted the toilet brown. Needless to say I decided to sign out and go home for the day. Of course, I had no money for
the bus so I had to make the half hour walk home. There was a mall across from my school and I made it to the parking lot and puked all over the hood
of somebody's car, then stumbled into the mall to paint another toilet brown. After that I exited on the opposite side and continued home. Puked a
few more times, not that there was much of anything left. About 5 minutes from my house me ass was about to explode so I looked around for a decent
place to shit without being seen. There was a kids park there (empty thank fuck) with one of thse slides that was a big tube. Painted the inside
brown. Grabbed a few pieces of paper from my bag to wipe with and made it home where instead of going to bed I just lay on the bathroom floor for a
few hours. Ah, those high school memories.
‘Do you know what a love letter is? It’s a bullet from a fucking gun. Straight through your heart.’
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Discipline
* DRUNKEN MONKEY *
Posts: 11900
Registered: 9-8-2004
Location: Over here
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Mood: The Alley Dukes
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One other gross one I'll mention, although not perpetrated by me, was when worked as an overnight cleaner at McDonalds many years ago. The store had
a playland with one of those long tubes the kids could crawl. Apparently one kid decided to drop his pants and take a shit in there. Yay. Then
another kid came along and upon discovering the shit puked all over the place. Double yay. Did the staff clean it up? Did the manager on duty do
anything to clean it up? No. They locked the playland and let it sit for 3 hours until me and the other night guy came in. It was his area to clean
but he went in there and puked. Guess who got to clean all that? That's right, me. I have a long list of nasty bathroom stories from McD's. People
in public bathrooms suck!
‘Do you know what a love letter is? It’s a bullet from a fucking gun. Straight through your heart.’
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JawnDiablo
Posting Freak
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Registered: 4-21-2005
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i have a friend who managed an assisted care facility (old folks home) and some of the old people really start to lose it after a while. in one such
case , an old man shat in a radiator and left it there. thats right 80 year old pooh in a steamy radiator, very messy indeed...yuck
when my son was a baby, he had a pretty bad virus at one point. i had him on the couch changing his diaper, lifted his legs to clean him up, and he
"projectile shat" at me. this shit squirt went all over me , my shirt, the couch the rug, all over. got on my face. i nearly puked. we look back at it
and laugh now.....
anyone who has to shit in public, dont ever do it in the Khyber bar in philly, thats a real no no.
the bathroom at work has all the charm of a public restroom, for the animals i work with seem to have a terrible "back splash" problem. i mean it ends
up running down the sides sometimes. it is real bad, and for me, it is dreadful, as i usually drink allot of coffee, if i don't then i really cant
function. well coffee gives me an on the spot enema in most cases...its bad
there was this one time in norristown pa, where i had to crap behind an abandoned warehouse. i was at applebees with people from work and ate those
boneless buffalo wings. the usual route home was closed due to a fatal accident on 422, so we had to take main street in norristown. there was loads
of traffic and we were crawling. then in a split second everything in my body rushed to my sphincter, and in that part of town there is nowhere to
take a dump. i had to jump out in traffic run while squinching to behind this abandoned warehouse ( i think it was abandoned , if not then someone had
a mess on their property) and drop 10lbs of buffalo wing and yuengling shit. wiped with my boxers and went back to the car. i never felt such
relief....
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newbreedbrian
Posting Freak
Posts: 2616
Registered: 9-2-2004
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a few years ago, a friend of mine left for work. what he also left was a big ass bag of jelly beans on the coffee table. enter rover.
snfff.......snffffff........munch......munch, the whole bag gone. now hopped up on sugar, he proceeds to run around in circles spraying the apartment
in liquid shit. jelly beans + rover = (from a third party perspective jelly beans +
rover = )
The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, ?You know, I want to set those people over there on
fire, but I?m just not close enough to get the job done.? George Carlin
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clevohardcore
* Kick\'n ass on the wild side *
Posts: 12937
Registered: 9-19-2004
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Mood: Sick Of It All, Youth Of Today
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
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clevohardcore
* Kick\'n ass on the wild side *
Posts: 12937
Registered: 9-19-2004
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Mood: Sick Of It All, Youth Of Today
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One other gross one I'll mention, although not perpetrated by me, was when worked as an overnight cleaner at McDonalds many years ago. The store had a
playland with one of those long tubes the kids could crawl. Apparently one kid decided to drop his pants and take a shit in there. Yay. Then another
kid came along and upon discovering the shit puked all over the place. Double yay. Did the staff clean it up? Did the manager on duty do anything to
clean it up? No. They locked the playland and let it sit for 3 hours until me and the other night guy came in. It was his area to clean but he went in
there and puked. Guess who got to clean all that? That's right, me. I have a long list of nasty bathroom stories from McD's. People in public
bathrooms suck!
I got a couple too. Mcdonalds was my first job. and they jsut installed the playland. I will tell when I got time.
This thread sooo damn funny.
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tireironsaint
* BANNED *
Posts: 4299
Registered: 5-14-2003
Location: Colorado
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Mine are all from a spectator's perspective, but still pretty funny. I'll start light and work my way down...
When my daughter was really tiny I was changing her diaper and some little turdlette was crammed between her cheeks. Just as I lifted her butt to wipe
her, she farted and shot the turdlette about three feet across the room.
The next one was actually several years before the first one. When I was in high school, I worked at this horrible place called Pandamonium Playland.
It was like a nicer Chuck E. Cheese type place and I usually worked in the kitchen, but on the day in question they made me work in the Playland part
and we had some kid go on a naked rampage. There was this big mountain of stuff for kids to play on, like a multi level maze with tubes and climbing
areas and all this stuff with one of us workers stationed every so often along the way with walkie talkies so we could jump on any trouble that came
through. Anyway, this kid apparently had the world's biggest sugar fix just before he came in and so right at the top of the mountain thing he
stripped off every stitch of clothes he had on and bolted. We heard about that immediately as he stripped right by one of the workers, but got away
from them. He proceeded to run amok all over the mountain slipping past most of the other workers who were doing some kinda Three Stooges type
maneuver running into each other and falling down in their efforts to catch him. I made my way to the bottom of the main tube slide, figuring he'd end
up there eventually. He did, fuck, did he ever. He came barreling down that slide, still buck-ass naked, jumped out the end of it, squatted right
there at the bottom of the slide and shit on the floor, laughing the whole time. I was lucky enough to grab his arm and hold him there while
management located his folks and therefore wasn't the one required to pick up the turds....
The last story happened between the first and second ones when I worked at a 7-11 on the Drag in Austin. The Drag is a stretch of Guadalupe Blvd near
the University and is just a couple of blocks from the State Mental Hospital, so of course we got more than our fill of bums, crusties, loonies, and
rejects mixed in with the typical students, frat boys, over-priveleged and undernourished rich girls and everybody else. Anyhow, one evening during
the busiest part of the shift one of our regular nutcases came in with a paniced look on his face. He stepped up to the counter for a second while
looking around frantically. His eyes settled on the entrance to the area with our restroom as well as our mop room just as he started to open his
mouth to say something which I assume would have been the question about where he might find our toilet. He bolted for the restroom before getting any
real words out of his mouth and I didn't think anything of it until a moment later when a customer at the counter mentioned a horrible smell just as
that smell snaked it's way across the counter and put a death grip on my nose. Another customer was walking up to the counter just then and slipped
and almost fell. We all looked to see what she had slipped on and noticed the beginning of a trail of runny black pudding-like shit that made it's way
back toward (where else?) the restroom area. Fortunately, I had a trainee with me that day and I had him start mopping up the snail-trail of human
waste while I went back to make sure the guilty party got the fuck out of the store. By the time my trainee had retreived the mop from just outside
the restroom and I could head back there, the scumball came tearing out of there with no pants or underwear on and he just tore out the door at top
speed and as far as I know, never came back. I went back to the restroom to see what kind of damage he had done, but it was pretty clean in there. As
I turned away to head back to the front, I noticed that he had decided to throw his shit-caked garments into our mop sink, leaving splatters all over
the walls and floor. Man, did I ever feel sorry for my trainee.
On a side note, the trainee was a recent immigrant from India who, believe it or not, was named Haji. Yes, I worked at a 7-11 with a guy named Haji.
Stereotypes hafta come from somewhere, I guess.....
Veritas odium parit
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clevohardcore
* Kick\'n ass on the wild side *
Posts: 12937
Registered: 9-19-2004
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Mood: Sick Of It All, Youth Of Today
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Damn. thats some funny dare I say it.........."shit"
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RomanticViolence
* Jennytailya *
Posts: 1547
Registered: 3-26-2004
Location: Baltimore MD
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Mood: Fuck U All
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Nothing about a public restroom..but...last weekend we had a cook out/party and my man got drunk and was throwing up and shitting his pants at the
same time. Good thing we were at home. Good times!
Have you ever noticed how crayons are a lot like M&M's? All the colors tend to taste the same.
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clevohardcore
* Kick\'n ass on the wild side *
Posts: 12937
Registered: 9-19-2004
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Mood: Sick Of It All, Youth Of Today
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In college a buddy of mine had a party in his dorm and it was nuts. This one dude got soo fucking high and drunk off POWERMASTER or St Ides(I can't
remember) he past out on the couch sitting up. After about a 1/2 hour or so you can smell some nasty stink in the room. I noticed it about 5 minutes
before anyone said anything so you know everyone else did too. Next thing we know is everyone starts yelling that dude shit his pants. It was the
smelliest thing ever. A couple guys picked him up and put min in the shower fully clothed and turned it on. I think my my buddy still has a pic of the
couch after he pissed and shatted on it. That was pretty damn foul.
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Unbound
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Posts: 227
Registered: 3-6-2004
Location: Canada
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I've only had one accident, well aside from baby ones. I guess I was about 10 and in our neighbourhood we had a guy who sold hockey cards and whatnot
out of his basement. Being that I was a dorky child I was very into those damn things, and one night I walked to his house, and while on the way my
stomach started to feel pretty bad. I get there and to be horror he isn't home. So A) no hockey cards, and B)I can't unleash this massive shit that is
brewing.
S0....I do the next best thing. Sneak into this dudes backyard and take a huge shit on the ground. It was winter so I figured what the hell I'll just
bury it. Well, I guess in between being nervous and watching for people I managed to shit all over my pants. Needless to say I wasn't about to walk
the 10 blocks home without any pants. So I pulled up my pants, and trudged home, with more in my pants then I left with.
My mom definitely got a good laugh out of it when I got home. Safe to say that my pants and underwear hit the garbage pretty quick though.
Ahh..being a child, how I miss the fact that you can shit your pants and it's ok.... I guess I'll like being an elderly citizen.
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JawnDiablo
Posting Freak
Posts: 12139
Registered: 4-21-2005
Location: 1902666
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i have this dope at work who "misfires" regulary. you know farts but accidentally has the hershey squrts....he is a mess. and he tells us about these
experiences....i swear i work in the zoo
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